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Speech of the Week

Val Kilmer

Mark Twain's 70th Birthday Speech

It's a long stretch between [my] first birthday speech and this one. That was my cradle-song; and this is my swan-song, I suppose. I am used to swan-songs. I have sung them several times.

The seventieth birthday: It is the time of life when you arrive at a new and awful dignity; when you may throw aside the decent reserves which have oppressed you for a generation and stand unafraid and unabashed upon your seven-terraced summit and look down and teach -- unrebuked.

I have made it a rule to go to bed when there wasn't anybody left to sit up with. And I have made it a rule to get up only when I had to. This has resulted in an unwavering regularity of irregularity.

I have made it a rule never to smoke more than one cigar at a time. I have no other restriction as regarding smoking. As an example to others, and -- not that I care for moderation myself -- it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain when awake.

As for drinking, I have no rule about that. When the others drink, I like to help.

I've never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired -- I was always tired.

Text, Audio, Video of Address

Barack Obama: 2013 White House Correspondents Dinner Speech [w/ AudioXE and Video]

Barack Obama: Transpacific Trade Pact Speech at Nike HQ [w/ AudioXE and Video]

Val Kilmer: Excerpted Performance of Mark Twain's 70th Birthday Speech [w/ Audio]

Michelle Obama: Tuskegee University Commencement Address [w/ Video]

Ronald Reagan: Moscow State University Address [w/ AudioXE and Video]

Ashton Carter: Drell Lecture on Cybersecurity at Stanford University [w/ AudioXE and Video]

William Jefferson Clinton: Address Commemorating Desegregation of Little Central High School [w/ AudioeXE and Video]

Colin Powell: Military Retirement Speech [w/ AudioXE and Video]

Barack Obama and Daw Aung San Suu Kyi Joint Press Conference [w/ AudioXE and Video]

Manny Pacquiao - Mayweather-Pacquiao Pre-Fight Press Conference Address [w/ Video]

Iraq War Speeches

12/15/11 Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta Marks the End of Operation New Dawn

08/31/10 President's Oval Office Address Announcing End of Operation Iraqi Freedom

2/27/09 President's Address at Camp Lejeune on Ending the War in Iraq

10/12/07 General Ricardo Sanchez's Address to Military Reporters and Editors

9/13/07 President's Address to the Nation on Moving Forward in Iraq

9/10/07 General David Petraeus' Opening Statement to Congress on the Status in Iraq

7/12/07 President's Press Conference on Iraq War

1/10/07 President's Address to the Nation on Troop Increase

9/11/06 President's National Address on Five-Year Anniversary of 9/11

12/18/05 President's National Address in Oval Office

2/4/05 L. Paul Bremer: TD Waterhouse Conference Keynote Address

2/02/05 President's 2005 State of the Union Address

1/30/05 President's Address Following Democratic Election in Iraq

10/4/04 Donald Rumsfeld's Address to the Council on Foreign Relations

4/13/04 President's Prime Time News Conference on Iraq War

4/8/04 Condoleezza Rice: 9/11 Commission Opening Statement

1/20/04 President's 2004 State of the Union Address

12/14/03 President Announces Capture of Saddam Hussein

5/01/03 President Announces End of Combat Ops in Iraq

Ashleigh Banfield: Landon Lecture at Kansas State University

4/13/04 President's Prime Time Press Conference on Iraq War

4/10/03 President and UK Prime Minister Addresses to the Peoples of Iraq

4/03/03 President's Address at Camp Lejeune

3/19/03 Senator Robert Byrd: The Arrogance of Power

3/19/03 President's Address to the Nation: Initial Ops in Iraq

3/17/03 President's Ultimatum to Saddam

2/05/03 Colin Powell's Address to the UN Security Council

1/28/03 President's State of the Union Address

8/26/02 Vice President Cheney's Address to the Veterans of Foreign Wars 103rd National Convention

2/02/02 Paul Wolfowitz's Address at the 38th Verkunde Conference

1/29/02 President's State of the Union Address

Barack Obama  Hillary Clinton  William Jefferson Clinton

Al Gore  Joe Biden  Michelle Obama  Ted Kennedy

John McCain  Sarah Palin  Mike Huckabee  Fred Thompson 

Rudy Giuliani  George W. Bush  Joe Lieberman

Barack Obama  Alexandra Kerry  Al Gore   Al Sharpton

Jimmy Carter   Bill Clinton  Ilana Wexler  John Kerry 

Vanessa Kerry  BLOOPERS!

   Arnold Schwarzenegger   Dick Cheney   George W. Bush

John McCain   Laura Bush   Rudi Giuliani   Zell Miller

 

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